When You Are Guided From Within
One things always leads to another and in surprising ways!
I Love Treasure Mapping. It's fun, its creative, it helps me to keep my mind focused on what I do want rather than what I don't. I hadn't made one in quite some time and started feeling the nudge again to make a new one but never got round to it. I didn't really want to use the poster paper I could find nearby and nothing else popped into my mind to use, yet the feeling was still there.
So every now and again I would think about it, acknowledge that urge and then affirm that what I needed would come in the Right way and time.
Well, the first thing that happened occurred when I was on my way back from the store in the small hours of the morning. Our nearest major grocery store is a five mile round trip and as I go on foot, I usually do go very early in the morning. We have no sidewalks here to speak of so I try to go when traffic is sparse. Normally I would come down one major street but that morning, I had the strong urge to walk down a secondary street that was not quite so convenient for me, but still is a nice street.
As I was close to home, I noticed something lying near the curb. It was an arched framed mirror in which the glass had been broken and so someone had tossed it out to be collected with the garbage. Now I love those old, arched windows you see in Gothic type churches. When i say I love them, I mean I really, really, really Love them. For some reason they help me to feel closer to Spirit. And so even though this thing is fairly substantial, a good 3 feet high and with broken glass to boot, I knew I needed to take it home with me.
Dear Lord I hope the neighbors didn't see me trying to toddle down the street with grocery carry bags on my shoulders and trying to keep this thing steady so the glass didn't tumble out onto the street! Its bad enough that I already made a name for myself not long after we moved here. I wasn't trying to, its just I can get pushed so far and Kaboom! As in running a certain individual off my front porch. Its been 3 years now and people still bring it up in conversation. The neighbors said it was rather impressive.
I am surprised it didn't make the local paper.
They probably heard me all the way to Horton's Corner in Pitt County. About 20 miles as the Crow flies.
So I bring it home, clean out the glass and then it sits. And sits. And sits. While I try to figure out what exactly I am going to do with it. And then the Light dawned. It still had its backing minus the glass, and I thought "This is Perfect for a Treasure Map!" So off to the library I go, because our local Library which I also really, really, really Love (Oh, it is Wonderful! I cannot say enough Good things about it and the staff there!) has magazines for sale for 50 cents each. People donate them and the money raised from their sale helps to fund the Library's operations.
Straight away I find four magazines that have enough images to use for my new Treasure map and found there was something more. Of course, with The Universe, there always is.
As I was leafing through them, tearing out pages that I wanted to use. I saw an article that I now wish I would have kept. I can't remember the name of the magazine or the woman's business, but what was written about her so stuck in my mind. This woman had started a business doing something she really Loved which was creating organizational products for business women. I also really, really, really Love organizational things and organizing things and helping others do the same and so the article attracted my interest.
As it turns out, her first venture also went "Kaboom". As in she lost her home, her marriage due to the financial stress and all the rest. This was back in 2008 or so if I remember right when it all blew up. Things had been going well and she was successful at what she was doing until the housing bubble burst and took a lot of businesses down with it.
Yet through all she was going through, she somehow managed to keep her business idea alive until two years later when she was picked up by another company and then she was up and running again. And being very successful.
Good for her!
At the end of the article she said something that really spoke to me. She said that "Fear kills more dreams than anything else". It really truly does. She had left one career field to start her business, a career that had offered her a certain amount of "security" but not much else. It took a great deal of courage for her to strike out on her own, to create a business doing something she really, truly Loved. Sure, she still felt a certain amount of fear but she did it anyway. And even after the worst had happened, she was still able to muster her courage and keep going because of Love.
Good for her!
I was sitting here today thinking how Inspiring her story was when it dawned on me. The "worst" that could have happened here for me, what I was afraid of when we first moved here and would wake me in the middle of the night, has already happened. It is done. It is over with. And I survived. And it wasn't really as awful as I thought it would be because of Love. Because it brought me into contact with people that I Love. And other things I have come to Love that I didn't even know existed until we came here. It taught me that I could "lose" a dream that had been a heart-felt dream for me for many years and still pick up the pieces and move forward.
Because I know now the dream isn't really "dead" at all, it is simply "sleeping". That it wasn't for me to fulfill it here, there IS a better place for us to be, and somehow, in some Divine Way, that dream will be "resurrected". How and when, I can't say right now. What I know for certain is that in some Wonderful way, something is going to happen and off I shall go to make that Dream a reality.
Because the fear is gone. I don't have to be afraid of "the worst" happening anymore. The "worst" that could happen actually turned out to be a major Blessing in Disguise though at the time I sure couldn't see it that way. Yet after reading that article I felt something "click" within me and I knew I was Free.
It may be that some of you reading this have had something in your own life go "Kaboom" too. Something that you Loved and that you are thinking is gone forever. It isn't. It too is only "sleeping" and in some Wonderful Way, through Divine Love, it will come back to you. Only bigger and better than before. Because sometimes we need to release what wasn't really working so we can have what will. And what was truly meant for us by Spirit. And sometimes that may involve moving through something that clears the fear once and for all. Not because Spirit sends these things. I don't believe that for a moment. It is the fear itself that attracted the difficulty.
Keep going. Muster up your own courage and keep going. Or if you are wanting to start something that you really, really, really Love and are afraid it might go "Kaboom", don't give in to the fear. Even if it does, keep going anyway! It just means that there IS something much Greater for you to be doing with what ever it is but the dross needs to get cleared out of the way first. And frankly, had I been listening to my own Inner Guidance to begin with, Spirit would have gladly cleared the dross from my own life in an easy, gentle manner so I didn't have to come here and have things go the way they did.
Learn from my mistake.
Yet I also have to say that there has been an AMAZING amount of Good here for us too. I Am So Very Grateful To Spirit For That!
By the way, in case you were wondering, I actually have made the local paper here. Twice. And the Raleigh news as well.
I blame Crow.
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